Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
