well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
