so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
