I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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