yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
