WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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