Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize