Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
