Your dad touched me again.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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