bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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