you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
