so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
