I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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