there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
