the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
