why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
