I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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