Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
