Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
i now understand why vodka
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
