i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
