when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
