I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
