your thong is hanging out like whoa
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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