Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
no, he came in my armpit
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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