just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
