You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
