i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
