its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
