batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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