Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
