There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
