i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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