Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
