Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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