Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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