I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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