dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
