Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
