Already got asked if we're dating
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
