i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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