does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
