is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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