ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
