is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize