3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
