As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
