Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
