These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
