I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
