i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize