I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
