you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
