butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
