There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
