i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Randomize
