Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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