I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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