No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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