I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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