Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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