I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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