I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It's just like the Real World with babies
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
