heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I came so hard my ears popped.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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