Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize