So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm at about main and main street
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
