It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize