hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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