yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
